dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
