haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
