sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize