i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
