those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
