Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
