Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
