My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
