I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize