Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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