so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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