If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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