you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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