Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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