Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
