You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
