I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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