So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize