respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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