Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
