Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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