Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
