guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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