Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
this boner is exhausting
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
