I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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