Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
