How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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