I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
