We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
