Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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