Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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