Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I heard we made out
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
