Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
