went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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