Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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