I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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