i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
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i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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