Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
