Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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