If i come over, it means nothing
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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