My underwear smells like fireworks.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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