he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
