Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize