Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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