i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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