the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize