my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
