I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I will die if light touches me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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