On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
