I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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