He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So many bounce houses so little time
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
