im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
