batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
