i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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