She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
