I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize