ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
