Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
