I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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