I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
