I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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