I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
