we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
