Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i love accidental penises.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
a search helicopter?!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
