I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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