if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
