In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize