I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need help removing her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Panties = found
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
