i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
